Being me

I am scribbling this down as fast as I could because I cannot seem to shut my eyes,
and an epiphany suddenly dawned on me.

I had this thought long ago but this time, I needed to write it down because I just can't seem to go to sleep, maybe because of the teh tarik I drank just now, or maybe because I just needed to get it off my chest.

Thing is, I miss being me.

Today, I hung out with my ssp friends and boy, was it liberating.

I love being with them because they remind me to be myself. They remind me to laugh at myself and to find humor in every stupid thing that I do. They remind me of the good ol' days at high school where our worst problems were homework and the occasional fights with friends.

But most of all they remind me that life is not just about looks, about your image, about how many likes you get on instagram, how many RT's you get on twitter, how many followers you have on every FREAKING social media.

And I absolutely love it :)

And I don't feel that with my group of friends at KY. Most of them emphasize on looks, on duckscarves, on material stuffs that I could not be bothered with, and it's just damn tiring.

It's tiring to feel the need to be pretty all the time. It's tiring to feel the need to have a lot of likes on instagram and it's tiring to have funny ig stories and it's tiring to keep up the image of being 'successful' and 'pretty' all the time.

Because I am not that person. I am lazy, I love my own space. I am a private person, and I don't want to make friends with a lot of people because it's too much work. I prefer being with a few of my good friends that I am comfortable with, because at the end of the day, they are the ones that make my life happy.

But I'm human, and sometimes I do admit that I should be more friendly, make an effort to have more friends, be prettier and more successful everyday. But most of the time, I prefer being in my own shell and just being comfortable with myself.

Is it wrong? Is it wrong to want to stay like this forever?

It's not wrong, but it's also not right either. Humans have to grow, and they have to explore themselves and explore the world.

Same goes for me. As challenging as that sounds, I know it's the right thing to do.

But at the end of the day, I'll always find my way back home with my true friends.