Tuesday, 25 April 2017

A dream come true, or is it?

I haven't posted in quite a while, but somehow today I've come to an epiphany.

People who knew me would know that I had always wanted to study overseas. It did not even cross my mind to study in a local university. But now that I'm here, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Who would have thought that it would be so hard here? Not just studying-wise, but also socially? The feeling of emptiness, of feeling that you'd never be happy again constantly shrouds me. I often ask myself, why did I choose to study here at Cambridge? Why did I choose to study Chemical Engineering VIA Engineering? Why did I choose St John's College? And now I know why.

Because Allah wants to test me. Because Allah wants me to remember Him. Because all this while, a lot of really good things has happened to me. And sometimes (most of the time) I forget about Him, because I am happy. Because I am contented. Because I always take things for granted.

So yes, actually it is a dream come true. Because it's every Muslim's dream to become closer to our Creator, but usually we falter along the way.

I will keep on fighting, keep on learning, because then I would appreciate how vast your knowledge is, and only then I can give back to the community, and to help my ummah. Thank you Allah.


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